Chapter 5
What I desperately needed
I’ve posted the first four chapters of a memoir I’m working on for free and are available in my archives. If you’d like to read more, the remainder of the chapters will be available to paid subscribers - BTW - I’m offering a 50% off discount until the end of July.
I’m still not sure of the title, so for now I’m calling it:
Memoir of a Cancer Created Introvert.
Chapter 5
Journal Entry 6/12/21
What did I expect? I told my mother I have a life-threatening disease that has horrific treatments, and she says, “Let’s hope for the best.” What I really wanted in that moment was to be hugged and told, “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.”
Today, my sons, Pete and Eric, and their wives return home. My stomach hurts as I consider how the news will affect them. I won’t sugar coat it or try to pretend I’m not scared. This feels worse than getting the phone call from the doctor telling me I had MDS.
The sound of the noise machine in my grandsons’ room came over the monitor like old-fashioned static on a radio. While they continued to sleep, I wept as I tossed and turned. Every time I closed my eyes, I was taken back to Mom’s response to my diagnosis. I kept telling myself it’s just how she copes with bad news. She compartmentalizes things and deals with them on her own terms.
